I used to ask myself what I could do that Kc would be impressed by in this situation. It was my backbone. Then I found a situation where doing what would impress hypothetical Kc would just devastate real Kc.

I keep thinking that while I am in San Diego, I can jump off the Golden Gate Bridge

That is not actually possible, but if I can think that, then I should.

Dear Professor Hobson,

Instead of writing about Cardinal Richelieu, I wrote you this poem. You like basketball.

Tyler Hansbrough Is a Spastic (acrostic) Barely Legal Older Woman Stalker

Dear Dave

You should not have inflicted me on undeserving companions. I could almost raise my voice, if it would make any positive difference. The abuse and vituperation I am compelled to heap upon you is in the form of my totally odious and regrettable presence.

Henry

All the Best, George Bush: My Life In Letters and Other Writings

Blood Up

The prince's notion of a recompense to women - similar in this to his notion of an appeal - was more or less to make love to them. Now he hadn't, as he believed, made love the least little bit to Mrs. Assingham - nor did he think she had for a moment supposed it. He liked in these days, to mark them off, the women to whom he hadn't made love: it represented - that was what pleased him in it - a different stage of existence from the time at which he liked to mark off the women to whom he had.

be a child forever

Not in the way that explains all the delight in the world, but as an excuse for perennial disappointment.

I was delusionally confident about my breasts. Some girls stop caring, but I wonder if that is the best way.

Fake your metagenome

When differences were still few, but beginning to multiply, the queen's mother took a young maid, and went out into the heart of the delta to die. One of the grooms, who was the maid's suitor, despaired and set out after them. When he came back, he was God.

Straw man's burden

It wastes its genius.

Adult Matériel

Eighth grade is probably the best time for all the sex characteristics, but not for anything else.

I eat mostly off of plates

It's not that you make me feel like I can be myself; you make me feel like I am by myself.

Two things that are missing one thing

In middle school we had a drink called Shiraz and Coke. It isn't what it sounds like.

Adult Material

once when I woke up

I was convinced that most animal species produce special sperm cells that seek and kill sperm from conspecific males. That would mean that evolution expects one man's sperm to encounter another man's sperm, somewhere in the world, or like in a cervix.

Pretty people

mostly need a second card to play

:(

Thirty

is the new creepy

Craig Goldy

looks just like a girl I went to middle school with.

Peter Mandelson's Day Off

I'm dating a girl who does craft services for the new tv movie version of the Lisbon treaty.

You are not the girl of my dreams

Your family doesn't own a drug store that has a lunch counter and closes on Saturdays.

Underwears are not ever cute

I may be wrong, to most considered sensibilities.

No, no, they aren't. I am not wrong.

grind my hand

your choices are pelion olive or gasoline scented.

the whispers are not the coasters